As I Lay Me Down to Sleep — June 26, 2010

As I Lay Me Down to Sleep

As I lay me down to sleep
flashbacks in the mind release.
Pushing forward, images come
as I fight to not come undone.
My body tenses; I cannot breathe,
overwhelmed by what I “see”.
Morphing one image into another,
with silent screams of “no” in my head,
I try to be open to history’s unveiling,
fighting the urge to let the mists return.
But slowly it slips away from me again.
And in the morning I awake
with a new reality like a distant dream.
Is anything ever what it seems?

 

© June 28, 2010

Why? — August 26, 2008

Why?

I fall on the floor.
Do you even see what you’ve done to me?
Do you even care how my soul is laid bare
and my heart is bound by the cords you wound
around my core as you declared war…
on me?

Knocking on the door,
he calls to me to set me free.
But I cannot hear because your fear
has woven its thread all through my head.
So my ability to trust has turned to rust…
can’t you see?

I hate what you’ve done.
Throwing me down, you forbade my frown.
Using me up, you made me sup
of your wickedness, bestowing sickness
into my heart never more to part.
Why did you?

I want to run.
You broke my mind so I cannot find
myself anymore. There is no shore,
no boundary there. I cannot share.
I’m locked inside where I must hide.
Want your due?

I hate to hate.
Yet I wonder with heart torn asunder
if I would, if I could,
oh, my God, plant you in sod!
I guess it’s good I do what I should.
You ever cry?

I know of late
my mind is hazy, and feeling crazy.
Hope is draining. Grief is gaining.
My heart’s breaking. My body’s quaking.
You’re in my head and in my bed.
Say goodbye!!!

August 26, 2008

%d bloggers like this: