As I Lay Me Down to Sleep — June 26, 2010

As I Lay Me Down to Sleep

As I lay me down to sleep
flashbacks in the mind release.
Pushing forward, images come
as I fight to not come undone.
My body tenses; I cannot breathe,
overwhelmed by what I “see”.
Morphing one image into another,
with silent screams of “no” in my head,
I try to be open to history’s unveiling,
fighting the urge to let the mists return.
But slowly it slips away from me again.
And in the morning I awake
with a new reality like a distant dream.
Is anything ever what it seems?


© June 28, 2010

For Me…For Him — July 26, 2009

For Me…For Him

For me it’s the walls closing in.
For Him it was flesh, bones and skin.
For me it’s working with a broken mind.
For Him it was working through humanness entwined.
For me it’s the pain of a sinful heart.
For Him it was living a human part.

For me…for Him


© July 26, 2009

Why? — August 26, 2008


I fall on the floor.
Do you even see what you’ve done to me?
Do you even care how my soul is laid bare
and my heart is bound by the cords you wound
around my core as you declared war…
on me?

Knocking on the door,
he calls to me to set me free.
But I cannot hear because your fear
has woven its thread all through my head.
So my ability to trust has turned to rust…
can’t you see?

I hate what you’ve done.
Throwing me down, you forbade my frown.
Using me up, you made me sup
of your wickedness, bestowing sickness
into my heart never more to part.
Why did you?

I want to run.
You broke my mind so I cannot find
myself anymore. There is no shore,
no boundary there. I cannot share.
I’m locked inside where I must hide.
Want your due?

I hate to hate.
Yet I wonder with heart torn asunder
if I would, if I could,
oh, my God, plant you in sod!
I guess it’s good I do what I should.
You ever cry?

I know of late
my mind is hazy, and feeling crazy.
Hope is draining. Grief is gaining.
My heart’s breaking. My body’s quaking.
You’re in my head and in my bed.
Say goodbye!!!

August 26, 2008

The Healing Journey — April 24, 2005

The Healing Journey

The walls go up

The walls come down

The body shakes

The body calms.

Up and down and round and round

The healing journey does not feel sound.

Yet onward I’ll persist to go

To a place that only You know.

The journey is hard, the journey is long,

But You’re always there to make me strong,

For on my own I am weak…I fall

But You pick me up and give me all

That I need to keep going just one more step,

One more day, one more week, one more month, one more year.

Help me, Abba,

Through the next hour

Keep me safe, Lord,

In Your tower.


April 24, 2005 12:55 a.m.

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